When people receive validation, it can have various positive effects, such as enhancing their self-esteem, promoting emotional well-being, and strengthening the bonds between individuals.
But if an individual constantly seeks validation from others for even the most minor decisions or actions, it can create dependency and hinder their ability to make independent choices or develop self-confidence. Over time, this reliance on external validation may erode their self-esteem.
Do you find it hard to stop seeking validation from others? Do you feel the need to constantly prove yourself and continuously earn your worth?
Do you always tell yourself that you have to be the best? If you do, you have to stop these approval-seeking behaviors.
Here are 7 reasons why:
It Affects your Self-Esteem
If you keep seeking people’s approval, it will only affect your self-esteem in a negative way. You’ll keep doing the things you think will make other people happy but if they are not satisfied, it will give you the idea that you are not good enough.
The more you get insecure, the more you become anxious about making mistakes and become more sensitive to judgment and criticism.
Instead of seeking validation from others, assess yourself and reflect on your values, goals, and strengths. Self-awareness will help you build confidence over time.
It Prevents you from Reaching your Full Potential
When you focus on pleasing others, you tend to overlook your strengths and potential. You get stuck in the same dilemma of trying to please people and being the person they think you should be.
This makes you forget that you are more than what other people perceive you and you can do greater things regardless of other people’s opinions.
Even if others don’t always agree, always remember that you are valuable and you can reach your full potential if you keep working on it.
It is Draining and Time-Consuming
Seeking validation from others consumes a lot of your time and energy. It becomes a never-ending mission that seems impossible to accomplish.
If you are under a lot of pressure, take a break and remind yourself that you are not obligated to do something you can’t do or don’t want to do.
It may be hard if the pressure is coming from your family and loved ones but you have to draw the line and be clear with your limitations.
Failure is a Part of Success
They say it’s better to fail than to never try. This applies to everyone, especially when you find yourself constantly seeking approval from others. You have to accept that you will fail every now and then.
If people laugh at you or ridicule you, you should learn how to ignore them and focus on improving yourself. Listening to their harsh words will only make you feel worse.
You Can’t Please Everyone
As clichéd as it is, this is the perfect saying for people who are battling with approval-seeking behaviors.
You may please some people in your circle but not everyone will agree with you or appreciate what you are doing.
There will always be people who will throw stones at you, no matter how much you try. This is why you should stop seeking validation from everyone and just focus on improving yourself and doing what you love.
We All Have Different Journeys
One of the reasons why it is hard to be happy and contented is because we keep looking at other people’s lives and comparing them to ours. If you constantly do this, you should stop and remember that we all have different journeys in life.
Your friends may be more successful than you but it doesn’t mean you won’t get there, too. If they have a luxurious life, don’t try too hard to get to their level.
Be happy with what you have and stop comparing yourself to them. This way, you won’t try to be like them and seek other people’s approval.
The Only Approval that Matters is your Approval
No one else can make decisions for you but yourself. Remember, no one has lived your life so no one has the full knowledge of your experiences.
This is why no one can tell you if your decisions are good or not. They can offer advice but at the end of the day, you have to decide for yourself and do what will make you happy.
Your happiness is in your hands and the only approval that will ever matter is your approval.
Here’s a video that can help you stop seeking validation from other people: