I have always been a people-pleaser. I go with the flow and I don’t make waves. I have been breaking my own heart to keep everyone else happy. I’ve given in to psychological manipulation. But since turning 40, like literally, the day I turned 40, I started to feel this shift and I just knew … Read more
Who wouldn’t want to create a decadent tasty treat in a warm comfortable environment, with their nearest and dearest? Yes, I’m talking about a delicious red velvet cupcake, apple pie, or a chocolate chippie biscuit, baked in your own kitchen, with the help (or hindrance) of your darling partner and children. With Series 13 of … Read more
I’ve been writing for a few years now about a syndrome called Perfectly Hidden Depression. These are people who are inwardly struggling with depression, at times severe depression. But others would never guess that they were. They can act both intentionally, but also unconsciously, to deny and avoid pain or suffering. And they do it … Read more
A dear friend of mine recently suffered an unimaginable loss. As we were eating dinner together and catching up on each other’s lives, her eyes filled with tears and suddenly she was overcome with sadness. She expressed that she felt as though she hasn’t had time to grieve properly and she just couldn’t understand why … Read more
Over the years, I’ve seen countless people-pleasers in my therapy office. But more often than not, people-pleasing wasn’t really their problem; their desire to make others happy was merely a symptom of a deeper issue. For many, the eagerness to please stems from self-worth issues. They hope that saying yes to everything asked of them will help them … Read more
We all know the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. While this is an old adage we learn from an early age, there are a number of real-life benefits associated with the way we treat others. Science shows that as children, we’re biologically wired to be kind and we can … Read more
As a 169-pound woman it’s not easy being the sibling of a 109-pounder who also happens to be my twin! She is my fraternal sibling, like it or not. Oh, I LOVE HER…. it’s that 4-letter word I didn’t much care for. Pick a DIET, ANY diet and I can tell you if it worked … Read more
When I was 17 years old, I prepared for my A Levels in a two-year course in what is called a ‘junior college’ in my country. I also sang in the school choir and we had weekly afternoon sessions in one of the Lecture Theaters (LT). The theater was designed in the ‘paper fan’ shape … Read more
Let me tell you a story. This is Susannah Lung. She taught me to read and write in a single year when I was 7 years old. I’ve been looking for Susannah, hoping to thank her in person, for almost twenty years. And then she surprised me at my reading last night. I came to … Read more
On a trip back to my old hometown, I drove out to the senior’s residence to spend some time with my Mom. I hadn’t seen Mom in almost a year. My sisters, who have been there with her on her gradual descent into the murky fog of Alzheimer’s, warned that the visit would go hard … Read more
Dear You, Yes, You. That woman underneath the myriad disguises you wear for all the people in your life; those you care for, those who rely on you, those that think they know you. That woman who might live life differently, if only… I’ve noticed you pause in the space between breaths. I’ve caught that wistful … Read more
The cycle has to stop. You are worthy of all the love your heart can hold. The moment that someone makes you feel otherwise, is the moment you need to say goodbye. It will be very hard, and you’ll doubt yourself many times. You’ll even feel some remorse and regret. You’ll spend a lot of … Read more