Skip to Content

10 steps that can help adult children with narcissistic parents in their healing journey

Narcissistic parents are individuals who have an excessive preoccupation with themselves, a lack of empathy for others, and a constant need for admiration and validation.

“The hateful and stinging words of a narcissistic parent can linger in the mind of an adult child long after the adult has left home” – Shannon Thomas

When children grow up in a household with a narcissistic parent, they often experience emotional abuse and manipulation. These parents may belittle, criticize, demean, and gaslight their children, making them feel inadequate and unworthy.

They might use derogatory language, invalidate their feelings, and even blame them for the parent’s problems.

Narcissistic parents tend to be self-absorbed and constantly belittle their children.


As children grow into adulthood, the effects of this emotional abuse can persist and continue to impact their lives. Adult children of narcissistic parents may struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness, as they internalize the negative messages they received during their upbringing.

To learn more about the signs of being raised by a narcissistic parent, go HERE. In this article, will focus more on steps how to heal. 

It is crucial to recognize the impact of narcissistic parenting and seek professional help, such as therapy or counseling, to heal from the emotional wounds and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

With support and understanding, adult children can work towards breaking free from the negative effects of their upbringing and lead fulfilling lives.

Here are some essential steps that can help adult children with narcissistic parents in their healing journey:

  1. Seeking Professional Support: Consider working with a therapist or counselor experienced in dealing with narcissistic abuse and childhood trauma. A professional can provide a safe space for you to explore your emotions, develop coping strategies, and work through past wounds.
  2. Educate Yourself: Learn about narcissism and its effects on children to gain insight into your upbringing and the patterns you might have internalized. Understanding the dynamics can be empowering and help you separate yourself from the toxic aspects of your past.
  3. Establish Boundaries: Practice setting and enforcing healthy boundaries in your relationships, including with your narcissistic parent. Limiting contact or creating emotional distance can protect your well-being.
  4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that the wounds from narcissistic parenting are not your fault. Practice self-compassion and challenge any negative self-talk or self-blame that might linger from your upbringing.

  5. Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive and understanding friends, family members, or support groups. Connecting with others who have experienced similar situations can be validating and comforting.
  6. Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Replace negative coping strategies developed in childhood with healthier ones. Engage in activities that promote emotional well-being, such as exercise, mindfulness, journaling, or pursuing hobbies.
  7. Challenge Cognitive Distortions: Identify and challenge the negative thought patterns and beliefs that resulted from the narcissistic parent’s words and behaviors. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly helpful in this aspect.
  8. Practice Emotional Expression: Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions, even if they are painful. Repressing emotions can hinder the healing process, so finding healthy ways to process and release them is essential.
  9. Focus on Personal Growth: Engage in self-development and explore your interests and passions. Investing in personal growth can help build a strong sense of self and purpose.
  10. Forgiveness (if and when you’re ready): Forgiveness is a personal decision and may not be appropriate in all situations. If you choose to pursue forgiveness, it’s essential to remember that it is for your benefit, not to absolve the narcissistic parent of their actions.

Remember that healing from the effects of narcissistic parenting is a gradual process, and there may be ups and downs along the way.

Be patient with yourself and celebrate the progress you make, no matter how small it may seem. If needed, seek out support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who are on a similar healing journey.

Ultimately, by taking steps to prioritize your well-being and emotional health, you can break free from the lingering effects of narcissistic parenting and create a more fulfilling life.

To have further insights about this topic, you can visit:
Disarming the Narcissist
Dr. Craig Malkin

(Note: This article is for informational purposes only and not to be treated as a professional opinion or diagnosis.)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.