Why some families honor loved ones by transforming cremated remains into eternal reefs

When people die, most families bury their deceased loved ones in cemeteries; some put the cremated remains in urns, while a few prefer to be turned into memorial diamonds.

Meanwhile, some families now opt for a coral memorial instead of a funeral.

Coral Memorial is a special idea that mixes remembering loved ones with helping nature. It puts ashes into structures underwater that help coral reefs grow.

When Mary Agnes Vodde-Hamilton passed away suddenly at 69, her children were unsure about her final wishes.

But a clue lay in her last Facebook post. It contained a link to Eternal Reefs, a charity in Florida, according to NBC San Diego.

They work with families to turn cremated remains into reef balls.

These structures are put on the ocean floor to help coral reefs grow, a unique way to create a living memorial underwater.

“Eternal Reefs is a cremation memorial option that is intended to help protect, preserve, and enhance the marine environment for future generations,” CEO George Frankel said. “And we use memorialization as the tool to build these public reefs.”

Reef balls are globally used to repair damaged coral reefs, which face threats like overfishing, ocean acidification, and coral bleaching.

According to Reef Resilience Network, most coral reefs in the Atlantic Ocean (over 75%) and the Pacific (over 50%) are currently at risk.

Coral reef degradation doesn’t just affect coral; it also endangers marine life. The EPA states that 25% of marine creatures depend on coral reefs during their lifecycle.

After learning about them through her mom’s shared link, Kaily Newkirk, Mary Agnes’ daughter, was immediately drawn to the idea of using reef balls.

“She was trying to save literally everything in the world, even on her way out of it,” Kaily said.

Kaily embraced the idea of using reef balls but acknowledged it would diverge from her family’s customary Irish Catholic funerals, characterized by open caskets and solemn music.

Eternal Reefs, however, celebrates the transition from one life to another by fostering new life, offering a contrasting and positive approach.

Eternal Reefs combines aspects of cremation, scattering ashes, and sea burials to craft a distinctive tribute to the departed individual.

Their multi-day memorialization process involves the family at every stage.

This includes the incorporation of the loved one’s remains into the reef ball, fostering a deeply personal and interactive experience.

Families usually gather at coastal locations over a long weekend to prepare reef balls before they’re placed underwater.

They start by mixing cremated remains with concrete to form the top rings of the reef ball, known as “pearls.”

“Everyone in the family who wanted to took a turn pouring some of my mom’s remains in, mixing it into the cement,” said Kaily.

Once the “pearl” is made, it’s added to the main part of a pre-made reef ball. Families often decorate the reef ball with their own special tributes.

They’re given sidewalk chalk and rubbing wax to draw on. They even let kids write messages inside, making it a positive experience.

Kaily’s family chose to decorate their reef ball with keepsakes, handprints, and stones, making it uniquely theirs.

While the “pearl” is being cemented into the reef ball, families take a day to relax on nearby beaches or bond over memories.

The next day, families gather to see the finished reef ball. Military honors are held if the deceased served.

Lastly, the Eternal Reef memorial is placed underwater on the final day.

With the help of reef coordinators, families travel by boat to designated spots off the shorelines to place the reef ball, creating a thriving “reef patch” for marine life.

Over 3,000 Eternal Reefs have been submerged across 25 locations along the coasts of Florida, Maryland, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, and Virginia.

Kylie found comfort and purpose in knowing that these ocean areas would soon teem with new life.

“It feels intimate without being overwhelming, and it feels celebratory without being weird,” she said.

The multi-day process of Eternal Reefs gives families time to grieve and rest, even helping children understand loss for the first time in a gentle way.

Instead of somber settings, families find comfort in the project-like atmosphere.

“A lot of parents over the years have told us, ‘This is the best way I could have thought to introduce my child to a loss because there’s no open hole in the ground. There’s no quiet room where everybody’s talking in whispers,'” Frankel said. “This is an arts and crafts project.”

Each family receives a plaque with the exact coordinates of their loved one’s cremated remains in the reef as a final touch.

Many families have revisited the spot over the years.

These hollow structures with circular cutouts are placed by environmental groups in oceans worldwide, making them the “international gold standard” for designed reef systems, according to Frankel.

Reef balls are hefty, hollow structures crafted from pH-neutral marine-grade concrete, weighing up to 4,000 pounds, and designed with circular cutouts to resemble natural reef systems.

These structures are organized in clusters of around 10 at designated coordinates within reef sites.

Reef coordinators meticulously position the balls to allow local animals access to open sand for feeding.

Despite variable distances between reef balls, each site forms a distinctive blend of ecosystems.

Eternal Reefs has created 32 reef sites with 3,000 memorials along the Atlantic and Gulf coasts, covering almost half an acre of ocean floor.

The Reef Ball Foundation reports over 500,000 reef balls are used in 62 countries worldwide.

Life migrates swiftly to these structures, fostering diverse marine habitats comprising coral, algae, fish, and sea turtles.

Eternal Reef accelerates reef ball growth by adding texture, fostering rapid microorganism propagation.

Visible growth occurs within six weeks, with significant growth in two to three months. This restoration counters habitat loss and climate change impact.

Coral reef extinction threatens humans and marine life as natural storm surge barriers weaken.

Meanwhile, environmentalists stress reef restoration’s critical role amid rising sea levels and extreme weather.

Watch how Eternal Reefs with cremated remains offer more than memories:

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