A lot of men have a strong connection with their mothers and it’s a beautiful thing when you show love and honor the person that brought you into this world. However, it’s a different story if your husband is a mama’s boy.
Being a mama’s boy typically implies an excessive, sometimes unhealthy attachment to one’s mother, often at the expense of a balanced adult relationship.
When you are first dating, it is easy to admire your partner’s family values including his good relationship with his mother.
However, as your relationship progresses, you will realize that it can cause problems in your relationship. Here are some signs that your husband is a mama’s boy:
- He can’t make decisions without consulting his mother and often, he does what his mother tells him to do.
- He loves doing favors for her such as running errands, regardless of the time and circumstances.
- He communicates with her every day, either online or in person.
- He still lives with her or refuses to move far from his mother’s home.
- He is spoiled and still relies on her financially.
- He is like a kid when his mother is around.
- He expects you to be like his mom and always compares you with her, especially your cooking.
- His mother knows everything, even your fights, and other family problems.
- His mother shows up unannounced, not thinking about your privacy. She thinks she can always pay her child a visit whenever she misses him, regardless of what you two might be doing.
What to Do If your Husband is a Mama’s Boy
When you have confirmed that your husband is a mama’s boy, you can’t just break up with him or try to control him. There are ways you can improve your marriage without having to break his relationship with his mother.
Your relationship with your husband is doomed to suffer if he relies too much on his mother. However, not everything about their relationship is bad and you shouldn’t try to break the bond your husband has with his mother.
To make sure your mother-in-law doesn’t control your relationship, set boundaries and limitations. Figure out which of your husbands’ behaviors are tolerable and which ones cross the line.
You can tell him it’s okay for his mother to visit but she has to let you know beforehand so you can prepare and make time for her. He can share his problems with her but he can’t say all the details, especially the private ones.
According to Dr. Herb Goldberg, a former Psychology professor and author, it is more helpful to set boundaries with your husband, not your mother-in-law.
You should also stand firm and show your husband that you are serious about these limitations.
Make your Own Choices
If your husband is too dependent on his mother, it’s time to make him open his eyes and encourage him to stand on his own feet.
You should make your own decisions for your family and don’t let your mother-in-law have a say in everything. At the end of the day, it is your marriage and the two of you will be the one raising your children, not your mother-in-law.
Psychotherapist Marni Feurman says that your mother-in-law should not be a part of your marital decisions such as finances, parenting, or career paths.
Don’t Resent your Mother-in-Law
Don’t resent your mother-in-law, no matter how bad you feel about your husband being a mama’s boy. Don’t badmouth or try to compete with her because you will never win.
She is your husband’s first love and she has done a lot for him, which you should be thankful for. Avoid confrontations that can lead to full-blown arguments.
Always respect your mother-in-law, regardless of how you feel about her. Putting her down will only add strain to your marriage.
Don’t Get Too Distant
If you think your mother-in-law is too involved in your relationship, you can take the necessary space from her. You can move far from where she lives but don’t be too distant from your mother-in-law.
You don’t have to say yes to all her favors or invitations but never take her for granted.
Improve your Relationship with your Mother-in-Law
It may be hard to see your mother-in-law in a good light if your husband is a mama’s boy. Nonetheless, you should work out your differences and communicate with her better.
There are reasons why your husband loves his mother so much and you should also look at this side of the coin. Once you learn how to respect each other’s boundaries, it will be easier to work on your relationships and marriage.
Disclaimer: This article is provided solely for informational purposes and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or opinion. It is strongly recommended to consult with qualified professionals for any health concerns or issues.