Given the fact that children have needs which require constant tending and attention, people often think that the greatest source of stress in a family are the children. However, a recent study conducted by Today shows otherwise.
With more than 7,000 mothers from United States participating in a recent survey and an interview conducted by Today, the result shows that majority of mothers rated their stress levels at unsurprising 8.5 out of 10. What makes the study surprising though is that about half of the mothers who participated in the survey and interview said that, more than the children, the husbands were noted to be a greater source of stress.
A lot of people may raise their eyebrows in disbelief, especially the husbands out there, in regards with the findings of the study, however, a different research made by the University of Padova, also supports this finding.
According to the researchers, it can be observed that upon the death of the wives, the health of the husbands often deteriorates. In contrast in the case of the wives, where as after the death of their husbands, they turn out to be healthier.
Apparently, women can cope with depression and stress a lot more easier than when their husband was still with them. One in every five mothers said that a major source of daily stress was a lack of help from their significant other.
The study conducted by Today shows that splitting household tasks between the husband and wife is one of the factors contributing to the stress of the wives. 75% of mothers feel that they shoulder most, if not all, of the household chores.
This includes taking care of the children, keeping the house at its finest, doing the laundry, and preparing meals on top of attending to their husbands as well. With all of these responsibilities shouldered by one person, be it a stay-at-home wife or working mother, it can really be exhausting, tiring, and stressful.
In addition, study shows that 1 out 5 husbands do not lend a helping hand in managing the family and their home. This sounds bad to mothers out there, especially those who are raising more than one child.
However, in the defense of the husbands, study finds that 2/3 of husbands would like to help out their wives. All the wives need to do is to verbally acknowledge that they need their husbands help. In simple words, the husbands would help if the wives would ask for it. This is because men are oblivious to the stress faced by the women in managing their children and home. Since the wives are not asking for help, they often assume that the wives got everything under control.
“Even though I have a committed spouse, I still feel like all the pressure is on ME to get everything done. I work just as many hours as my husband does, but yet I do all the scheduling.”
It is no secret that when it comes to organizing things, women top men. The same goes in handling matters concerning the household. However, this is not because men cannot be depended on. Some women do not rely on their husbands simply because they cannot fully trust their partner in taking household responsibilities. Instead of sharing the household chores, women tend to do everything all by themselves.
“I feel like I am figuring out a lot about parenting on my own without the input of my husband. This stresses me out because when something goes wrong, it is all my fault.”
With the habit of taking all of the household and parenting concerns on their shoulders- women tend to blame themselves when things go beyond of their control. Given this circumstances, the stress is not contained physically anymore but emotionally as well.
When you and him are fighting always remember, it’s you and him vs the problem, not you vs him. Do not be disheartened by the findings mentioned above. After all, if there is a problem, there is a solution. In all problems faced by couples, all you need to keep in mind is that you and your partner’s bond is stronger than the challenge you are facing.
A solution suggested by marital experts is to keep your communication open at all times. If only all of the couples around the world would communicate and talk to each other, a lot more can be accomplished without too much stress at all. Assuming that your wife have everything under control all by herself is wrong.
Assuming that your husband does not care and does not want to help you at all is wrong. Talk and share your concerns to each other.
Discuss how you would like to designate household and parenting tasks among each other. If both of you and your husband is working, list all of your responsibilities and divide it between the two of you.
Perhaps, your husband can have a fun bath time with your child while you are preparing your dinner. Or your husband can bring your children to the park and bond with each other as you clean the mess your children left behind. Or your husband can pick-up and drop off your children to dental appointments while you spend a day off by yourself.
Raising a family sure is not an easy feat to accomplish. But at the end of the day, when two people are equally trying their best, and giving their time and effort, the amount of stress fails in comparison to the joy brought by a family.