Loving someone deeply is beautiful, but balance means keeping your friendships alive too

Marrying your best friend is often seen as the key to lasting happiness.

Yet, this ideal can sometimes lead to confusion and pain when the lines between friendship before romance and emotional intimacy in relationships blur.

What happens when you depend too much on one person and lose touch with other friends?

Understanding the toxic pattern: When one relationship shoulders too much

New research from Colorado State University challenges the common belief that marrying your best friend always means stronger support.

The study found only 14.4% of partnered adults in the U.S. view their romantic partner as their best friend. Those couples did feel closer but often had less overall social support.

Relying on one person for love and friendship can unintentionally limit connections.

In other words, emotional intimacy in relationships is vital—but depending solely on your partner may reduce the broader network that close friendships provide.

Joseph Laino, psychologist and assistant director at Sunset Terrace Family Health Center at NYU Langone, explains this trade-off.

“If you identify your romantic partner as your best friend, then your social circle is likely smaller than if you have a best friend outside of your primary romantic relationship. With a best friend outside of your romantic relationship, you invest time and energy in your relationship with your best friend, not only with your romantic partner,” he told HuffPost.

Marrying your best friend shows why outside friendships matter

The idea of marrying your best friend feels heartwarming. Media often portrays it as the ultimate goal. Still, many adults understand that friendship before romance offers something unique.

Laino points out that having a best friend outside of your romantic relationship can be a major plus.

It gives you someone to talk to about personal issues—especially about your partner—without the added pressure of shared responsibilities.

Close friends aren’t tied to finances, living arrangements, or parenting, making those friendships feel simpler and less stressful.

This safer space fosters honest conversations, helping individuals process emotions without conflict.

Recovery and growth: How to nurture emotional intimacy and broaden support

Maintaining friendships outside a romantic relationship takes effort but is essential for emotional health.

Laino reminds us that strong friendships don’t just happen; they require intention.

One key tip is to schedule specific times to meet. Vague plans like “Let’s get together sometime” often fall through. Setting concrete dates increases the chance friendships will thrive.

Technology also plays a big role. Quick text messages, video calls, handwritten cards, or short phone calls keep connections alive.

“Intentionality is key since our lives don’t leave us a lot of extra time,” Laino says. “We all have many responsibilities and competing priorities. Remember, though, even small gestures go a long way.”

Signs of strength: Recognizing progress in balancing love and friendship

Healing means expanding your support system beyond just your partner. Those prioritizing friendship before romance often feel more fulfilled and less isolated.

Laino points out that this balance leads to deeper emotional intimacy in relationships.

Partnering romantically with someone you consider your best friend can bring a deeper sense of companionship, more fulfillment through shared activities, and a stronger feeling of security in the relationship.

At the same time, nurturing friendships outside the relationship builds resilience. Having people to turn to can ease stress and foster healthier romantic bonds.

A hopeful message: Marrying your best friend and finding strength in balanced connections

The saying “I married my best friend” remains a beautiful idea. Still, true emotional intimacy in relationships comes from balance—cultivating friendships alongside romance.

Having a wider circle of support creates strength, hope, and resilience.

As research and experts remind us, depending on one person for all love and friendship may limit emotional growth.

By valuing friendship before romance and making space for multiple connections, people can heal from emotional trauma and build joyful, lasting bonds.

Remember: nurturing friendships outside your romantic life is not a sign of weakness—it’s a path to empowerment.

You don’t have to carry your emotional world alone. Reach out, stay connected, and keep growing.

Meanwhile, here’s a quick video from Psych2Go telling you signs you’re falling for your best friend: