27-year-old cancer warrior shares ‘What’s Okay and Not Okay to Say to a Cancer Patient’

When you’re trying to comfort someone with cancer, it can be tough to find the right words. Natasha Allen, who’s 27 and battling cancer, shares what not to do and what not to say to a cancer patient.

Here’s what she said:

1. Do not give unsolicited medical advice.

For the people that are edging in their seats to say, like, “Try an alkaline diet” or “Try this tea” or “Try this soursop.”

2. Don’t say, “Oh, I’m here for you” and not actually follow back up on that promise.

Instead of having an open question, you can say, “Hey, can I order a meal for you? Can I bring you X, Y, and Z? Can I drive you to an appointment?”

3. Don’t say anything that has to do with toxic positivity.

If someone’s going through the worst journey of their life and you say, “Just stay positive” or “Oh, you’ll be fine,” don’t try to dismiss things and kind of just validate and just be like, “Well, you know, I hope that you’re here and like I’ll be here with you throughout the journey.”

4. Don’t stop inviting them out to things.

Sure, they might say no a lot of the time because of side effects from treatment, but it’s still nice to get the invite and know that you’re not forgotten just because you’re going through this.

5. Don’t make every conversation about their cancer.

A person is more than what they’re going through. When we do want to talk about cancer, we just need a listening ear and someone to validate our feelings rather than minimize what we’re going through.

Natasha not only provides information about what not to say to a cancer patient but also aims to help break the stigmas surrounding how people perceive those battling the disease.

She’s fighting stage four synovial sarcoma and notices a stereotype that cancer patients are usually seen as older and weak.

“I think the image of a cancer patient is an old, an older person who’s frail,” Natasha said during an interview with ABC News‘ Dr. Darien Sutton.

“People don’t think like ‘oh, cancer,’ then think of someone that looks like me. But right now that image is changing,” she added.

Synovial sarcoma, a rare cancer typically found near joints in the arms, legs, or feet, predominantly affects younger adults, according to the National Cancer Institute.

Natasha received her diagnosis of this rare and aggressive disease on July 28, 2020.

She drove herself to the doctor’s office that morning, expecting normal results following a knee-surgery biopsy.

Natasha remembers feeling the room’s coldness when her doctor told her about her tumor.

“I asked him, like, what kind of tumor? And he said synovial sarcoma, Google it. And he said that with no emotion, not looking at me,” she said.

This news hit hard, making her think of death despite her young age.

Feeling overwhelmed, she sought comfort from her family, especially her mother, an ABC News producer, and her younger brother, after driving home to share the news.

Cancer rates among teens and young adults in the US are rising.

The National Cancer Institute reports that over 84,000 people aged 15-39 will be diagnosed with cancer this year, making up about 4.2% of all new cases.

Between 2014 and 2018, new cancer cases in young people increased by almost one percent each year.

To connect and support each other, many young cancer patients are turning to social media.

On platforms like TikTok, they share their experiences using hashtags such as #CancerTok.

After being diagnosed during the pandemic peak, Natasha felt isolated. To combat this, she shared her story on social media.

Now, her TikTok page, @possiblynatasha, documenting her cancer journey, has over 168,000 followers and 22 million likes.

She’s happy about these numbers because they reflect her success in raising awareness about cancer, particularly among young people, rather than seeking fame.

The National Cancer Institute notes that the majority of new cancer cases in adolescents and young adults fall into the “Other” category, making up 55% of diagnoses.

Melanoma, testicular cancer, thyroid cancer, and breast cancer also account for a significant portion of diagnoses.

Natasha’s diagnosis of synovial sarcoma falls within the “Other” category.

Dr. Salman Punekar, who specializes in treating aggressive and advanced cancer said, “Particularly younger patients, what we are seeing are more advanced cancers,” adding that there’s an increasing prevalence of advanced-stage cancers, particularly among younger patients.

Through TikTok, Natahsa has connected with fellow cancer patients and others.

“I actually ended up getting my first cancer friend early on in my cancer journey,” she said.

She found comfort in not feeling alone, acknowledging that while family and friends were there, they sometimes avoided discussing mortality, but thoughts of mortality were constantly on her mind, she questioned how she could avoid talking about it.

Reflecting on her diagnosis, Allen believes it could have come sooner.

Despite starting to feel knee pain in fall 2019, it wasn’t until November that she got a medical scan, with a biopsy delayed until July 2020.

She feels her identity as a Black woman and young age influenced her treatment, lacking empathy.

Now, with hundreds of thousands of followers on TikTok, she shares her daily life, from chemo days to trivia nights.

“The messages that really, like, hit a chord with me are the ones where people say ‘[hey,] you are an inspiration,” Natasha said. “Being able to be that someone for someone else makes it all worth it.”

Watch Natasha as she shares what not to do and what not to say to a cancer patient:

You can also follow her on TikTok to join her on her journey.

For cancer-related inquiries, free, confidential assistance is offered, providing personalized answers on various topics like prevention, treatment, and clinical trials. Contact the National Cancer Institute’s hotline at 1-800-422-6237, available on weekdays from 9 am to 9 pm, or visit cancer.gov/contact.