Some friendships aren’t meant to last forever: 7 clear signs you’re dealing with a bad friend

When dealing with a bad friend, knowing that not every disagreement or rough patch makes a friendship toxic is important.

All relationships have ups and downs, but sometimes the emotional cost of trying to hold on outweighs the benefits.

Experts say that it may be time to let go when a friend makes you feel invisible or threatens your emotional safety.

Clinical psychologist Miriam Kirmayer explains that asking if a friendship is healthy and fulfilling “is one of those questions that we don’t take the time to ask ourselves,” even though the answer is often very revealing.

This can be even harder when the bad friend is someone you’ve known for years, like a childhood companion or a long-time schoolmate.

Kirmayer outlines several red flags that point to a toxic friendship.

These warning signs often reveal a one-sided friendship. They can help you decide when to set firmer relationship boundaries—or even consider a friendship breakup.

Red flags that show you’re dealing with a bad friend

They rarely reach out first

Friendships thrive when effort goes both ways. It may feel one-sided if you’re always starting conversations or planning hangouts.

“That consistency is important for keeping our friendships thriving,” Kirmayer told Business Insider. Without it, resentment can grow, and what once felt like a close bond may feel like a toxic friendship.

They’re stuck in the past

Life changes—moving, new jobs, or starting families—can shift friendships. A good friend will keep learning about you as you grow.

But a bad friend might cling to an old version of you, repeating the same conversations and refusing to acknowledge your growth.

This unwillingness to adapt can make the friendship feel stagnant. Over time, it becomes clear that you’ve outgrown the connection, and a friendship breakup may be the healthiest option.

They don’t respect boundaries

A bad friend may push back whenever you say no.

Whether it’s pressuring you to go out when you’re tired or ignoring personal topics you’ve said you don’t want to discuss, these actions show a lack of respect.

Ignoring relationship boundaries is one of the clearest red flags of a toxic friendship. Over time, this behavior can make you crave more distance and even consider a friendship breakup.

They refuse to hear feedback

Friendships work best when both people can talk openly.

But if a bad friend dismisses or reacts harshly to even gentle feedback, it signifies imbalance.

Instead of listening, they may get defensive or angry, leaving you to stay silent to avoid conflict.

They use ‘honesty’ to tear you down

Being honest is important, but there’s a difference between constructive truth and constant criticism. Some bad friends disguise their negativity under the phrase “I’m just being honest.”

As Kirmayer explains, “We feel the truest sense of belonging and connection when we feel seen, heard, and appreciated for who we actually are.”

Suppose your friend repeatedly mocks, criticizes, or makes you feel small. In that case, it’s a clear sign of a toxic friendship that damages trust and self-esteem.

When relationship boundaries can’t be respected, emotional safety is at risk. Over time, this makes the friendship feel unstable and unhealthy.

They gossip too much

Not all gossip is harmful. In fact, Kirmayer notes that “Sometimes, our friends are gossiping as a need to secure support or to set out our perspectives and experiences.”

But when a friend constantly badmouths others to feel better about themselves, it’s a sign of a bad friend.

This type of gossip creates distrust, leaving you to wonder if they speak about you the same way. It also keeps the friendship from being built on respect and emotional safety.

A bad friend makes everything about themselves

Healthy friendships should feel balanced. It’s normal for one person to lean on the other during tough times, but eventually, the support should go both ways.

A bad friend, however, constantly dominates the conversation, shares their problems, and rarely asks about your life.

This lack of balance can leave you drained and unheard. Over time, a one-sided friendship like this can harm your emotional safety and self-worth.

Moving on from a toxic friendship

There’s no perfect way to end things with a bad friend, but some approaches are healthier than others.

Ghosting or sending a long, emotional text might seem easier, but it often causes more harm. Experts suggest having an honest conversation if possible, even if it’s your last one.

Walking away from a one-sided friendship is painful, but protecting your emotional safety and honoring your relationship boundaries is more important than holding on to a toxic friendship.

Ultimately, letting go of a bad friend opens space for healthier, more supportive connections—where both feel seen, heard, and valued.

Licensed psychotherapist Michelle Farris shares practical advice on handling a friendship breakup and letting go of a bad friend in a healthy way. Watch:

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a qualified expert or licensed professional with any questions or concerns you may have.