The five things narcissists do when they realize they’re losing control over you

When a narcissist senses they’re losing control over someone or notice fading interest, their reaction can be intense.

People with narcissistic traits are often manipulative and deeply dependent on others for emotional support.

Their need for validation is not just typical but an urgent, overwhelming craving for approval from those around them, says Dr. Les Carter.

Narcissists depend on the support of others to achieve their selfish goals. They aim to dominate those around them, which often requires submission and compliance from others.

In this situation, many people find themselves enabling the narcissist, helping them project a positive image to the outside world.

This constant need for validation and control significantly shapes their relationships and interactions with others.

Narcissists often exhibit a range of negative traits that come along with their many demands.

While their neediness may make them seem nice and helpful, these actions are usually superficial and self-interest-motivated.

This constant craving for attention can lead to anger, criticism, and passive-aggressive behavior.

They often engage you in complaining sessions and circular arguments, using tactics like persuasion and pleading to get their way.

Suppose you refuse to comply with their demands. In that case, they may respond with punishment, such as shaming you, giving you silent treatment, or whining.

Over time, dealing with a narcissist’s behavior can lead to frustration and cause you to question why you put up with their neediness.

This dysfunctional behavior can eventually overshadow your willingness to engage with them.

The emotional reaction of a narcissist when they are losing control

Recognizing a narcissist’s true nature can be surprising, especially when you realize how they have taken advantage of you for their own gain.

When you decide to stand up for yourself and refuse to be manipulated, your reactions can provide important insights into your character.

Narcissists often have strategies in place, and by understanding their likely next moves, you can protect yourself from unnecessary emotional distress, Blog Herald noted.

Staying aware of their tactics is crucial for maintaining your well-being.

Here are some common emotional reactions from narcissists when they realize they’re losing control and can no longer depend on you to meet their needs:

1. They’ll love bomb you.

When a narcissist senses they’re losing control, they often ramp up the charm, according to one account. In this case, the individual reported being showered with gifts and grand gestures once the narcissist’s usual tactics stopped working, all under the guise of appreciation.

Initially, it’s easy to be swept up by the sudden attention. But as time passes, it often becomes clear these gestures are less about genuine care and more about regaining control. When this happens, it’s important to remember that flattery from a narcissist is often not about true admiration but rather a way to reassert influence.

2. They give you a cold shoulder.

Narcissists often resort to the silent treatment when they can no longer exert control over someone. This tactic can involve ignoring phone calls, leaving messages unanswered, or acting as if the person is invisible, even in the same room.

The purpose of the silent treatment is to manipulate emotions, creating feelings of guilt or anxiety. Ultimately, the goal is to make the other person so uncomfortable that they feel compelled to apologize or concede to demands just to break the silence.

3. They’ll get your attention through self-harming threats

Some narcissists may resort to threatening self-harm or suicide when they sense they are losing control. This alarming tactic aims to manipulate others by inducing guilt and fear.

It is important to take such emotional blackmail seriously. If someone makes these threats, seeking help from professionals who can appropriately manage the situation is essential.

Furthermore, it’s vital to remember that individuals are not responsible for the emotional health of others at the expense of their own well-being. Prioritizing personal safety and mental health should always come first.

4. They’ll defame you.

When a narcissist feels they can no longer control someone, they often engage in character assassination. This can involve spreading false rumors, lying, or attempting to damage that person’s reputation.

This behavior is linked to a psychological concept known as “projection,” where individuals deny their negative traits and assign them to others instead. This allows narcissists to shift blame away from themselves and onto their victims.

Hearing negative comments from a narcissist can be upsetting. Still, it’s important to understand that these remarks reflect their insecurities, not your reality. They cope with their issues by projecting them onto others, making their accusations largely unfounded.

5. They may ruin your future relationship.

Understanding the tactics of a narcissist is essential, as they may attempt to undermine your future relationships. This can involve spreading false information to your friends, family, or a new partner to create conflict and isolate you to retain control over your life.

However, it is vital to remember that you have the ability and the right to form healthy, supportive connections. Don’t allow a narcissist’s attempts to disrupt your life to stop you from progressing and pursuing your own happiness.

Here’s Dr. Les Carter, a clinical psychotherapist, best-selling author, and narcissism expert, speaks about what happens when a narcissist realizes they’re losing control: