7 phrases that reveal someone is highly narcissistic, according to a psychologist

Highly narcissistic people often see themselves as more important or successful than they really are.

They tend to overreact to criticism and have trouble showing empathy, making it hard for them to connect with others.

“This self-centered focus on their own needs is usually at the expense of everyone around them, which makes communicating with them challenging. You may be left feeling dismissed, criticized, or invisible,” wrote Dr. Cortney S. Warren, a board-certified psychologist and author of “Letting Go of Your Ex,” in her article on CNBC Make It.

She has outlined seven common phrases that often signal these narcissistic behaviors.

1. “You need me.”

Narcissists often rely on threats or intimidation to stay in control of a relationship. Instead of working as equals, they prefer to take charge and keep others in a weaker position.

Phrases like “Be careful or you’ll push me away” or “I’ll ruin you if you cross me” are common signs of this controlling behavior.

2. “Everyone else is an idiot.”

Narcissists often try to feel superior by putting others down. Instead of seeing people as equals, they criticize friends, family, or strangers to make themselves appear more important or unique.

For instance, they may say, “Your friend is lame. Why do you hang out with them?” or “These people have nothing to offer me.”

3. “I don’t have time for this.”

People with narcissistic traits often use stonewalling to shut down communication and show their frustration. While pretending to be unaffected, they may give the silent treatment to express their displeasure.

They might say things like, “I’m fine. What are you even talking about?” or simply stay quiet.

4. “You’re lucky I even care.”

Narcissists tend to see themselves as superior and expect others to feel lucky to be around them, often viewing those around them as flawed.

They may say things like, “You don’t deserve me,” or “You should feel relieved that I haven’t cut you out of my life.”

5. “My feelings are your fault.”

When a narcissist gets upset, they tend to blame others instead of owning up to their own actions. Rather than reflect on their part in the situation, they focus on how unfair others have been.

For example, they might say, “If you just did what I asked, I wouldn’t be so upset,” or “I wouldn’t be yelling if you didn’t make me so angry.”

6. “You’re so pathetic.”

When a narcissist gets upset, they tend to blame others instead of owning up to their own actions. Rather than reflect on their part in the situation, they focus on how unfair others have been.

For example, they might say, “If you just did what I asked, I wouldn’t be so upset,” or “I wouldn’t be yelling if you didn’t make me so angry.”

7. “You are wrong to feel that way.”

Highly narcissistic people often have trouble empathizing with others, making it difficult for them to view their partner as an individual with their own thoughts and feelings. Instead, they focus on their perspective, often expressing this through phrases like, “My feelings matter more” or “I’m usually right.”

How do you respond to a highly narcissistic person?

A calm and thoughtful response is often the best way to handle a narcissist.

Warren suggests pausing to collect your thoughts rather than reacting emotionally or walking away.

Saying something like, “I need a minute to think before I respond,” can give you space to manage your emotions and keep the conversation under control.

Once you’ve gathered yourself, setting firm and respectful boundaries is key.

Responses such as “I hear you, but I don’t agree,” or “I’m here to listen, but I won’t stay in a conversation where I’m being insulted,” can help protect your mental well-being while keeping communication respectful.

When interacting with someone who is highly narcissistic, it’s important to remember that their words only carry weight if you allow them to.

Even when their harsh or hurtful comments, your response gives those words power.

Narcissists often communicate in ways meant to control or manipulate. Still, this behavior usually says more about their own inner struggles than it does about you.

Their actions reflect their mindset—not their worth or values.

Here’s Dr. David Hawkins sharing the seven habits of highly narcissistic people: