Mom explains why she doesn’t charge her adult children rent—and it’s resonating with many parents

Finding the right balance to support adult kids while setting clear boundaries can be challenging.

Lori, a mom popular on TikTok as @loriscowsandstuff, has gained attention for her three rules designed to help her kids, 22 and 24, become independent and responsible.

While her methods may seem unusual, many parents appreciate her focus on empowering their children.

Lori explained that her children are welcome to live at home for as long as they want, with no set timeline for moving out.

While this approach might seem unusual, she has clear boundaries to ensure it remains productive.

“They can live here forever, as long as they’re doing what they’re supposed to do, being respectful, and working hard,” she said.

Lori has taken a unique approach to supporting her adult kids by fostering trust and independence.

She allows them to invite their partners into the home, emphasizing her belief in their ability to make responsible choices.

Additionally, she does not charge them rent, providing a stable foundation to help them focus on personal and professional growth.

Her unconventional methods reflect a commitment to nurturing maturity while offering flexibility and support.

Lori’s decision not to charge her adult children rent may be unconventional. Still, it stems from a thoughtful approach to parenting.

She believes financial independence is a key part of adulthood. She encourages responsibility by having her children pay for their car insurance.

At the same time, she eases the financial burden of living expenses, allowing them to focus on building a secure future.

While her rules may not suit every family, her focus on fostering independence, promoting responsibility, and maintaining open, supportive communication resonates with many parents facing similar challenges.

Reactions from other parents reveal a variety of strategies for supporting adult children. Some charge a small amount of rent to create a financial safety net for their kids.

Others focus on helping their children build independence by having them cover personal expenses like car insurance and healthcare while letting them live rent-free.

Across the board, parents agree on the importance of creating a supportive environment that promotes hard work, responsibility, and long-term financial stability.

Charging your adult child rent

More adult children are moving back in with their parents, a growing trend fueled by rising student loan debt and high housing costs, according to Money Wise.

According to the Pew Research Center, young adults today are far more likely to live in multigenerational households than 50 years ago.

A significant factor is the financial strain of student loans, with Experian estimating the average debt per student to be nearly $40,000.

This heavy financial burden makes it difficult for many young adults to gain economic independence and afford their homes.

Millennials and Gen Z face more challenging financial hurdles than Baby Boomers, who enjoy affordable housing and a strong economy.

While nearly half of Boomers owned homes by their early 30s, only 37% of Millennials have achieved the same milestone.

Rising living costs, particularly skyrocketing housing prices—from $113,000 in 1970 (adjusted for inflation) to $337,000 in 2020—have made financial independence more difficult for young adults.

Many parents support adult kids by offering rent-free living.

However, this raises an ongoing debate about how to balance parental support with encouraging independence.

Advantages of charging rent

Charging rent can help young adults build critical financial skills, such as budgeting, saving, and managing spending.

By contributing to household costs, they learn to prioritize needs over wants and understand financial responsibility.

This approach also encourages saving for long-term goals like education or a home down payment, preparing them for independent living.

Helping with household chores or paying bills also fosters a sense of accountability and respect for shared spaces, teaching responsibility beyond just finances.

Disadvantage of charging rent

Talking about rent with adult children can be challenging, but a calm and collaborative approach can make all the difference. Instead of issuing demands, start with an open and honest conversation.

Discuss their income and work together to decide on a fair rent amount. This approach not only encourages understanding but also helps prevent any feelings of resentment.

If the topic hasn’t been addressed yet, it’s worth noting that your adult child might be waiting for you to bring it up.

Here’s Lori’s viral video discussing the kind of support she provides to her adult kids:

@lorimeofarmandmom #adultkids #over50 #mom #momlife #rhodeislandgirl #rhodeisland #love ♬ original sound – lorimeofarmandmom