A grieving teacher finds a beautiful way to explain grief to her students with one powerful object

The question of how to explain grief to kids became a moving life lesson for fourth-grade teacher Ryan Brazil, who turned her own loss into a moment of understanding and healing in her classroom.

Ryan told Upworthy that after her sister’s unexpected passing, she decided to use her pain as an opportunity to teach her students about grief and emotional resilience.

The vase lesson: A simple way to understand grief

To start her lesson, Ryan read “A Kids Book About Grief” by Brennan C. Wood, a story that helps children talk openly about loss.

It inspired her to show her students what grief can feel like using a hands-on demonstration.

In a heartfelt video, she held up a clear vase to represent her heart and mind.

She said, “I normally have more space for patience, focus, and calm. I showed them how little things that happen during the day like noise, questions, mistakes are like colorful pom poms filling up the vase. Normally, there’s plenty of space to handle those things.”

Then, she placed a large, crumpled piece of black paper inside the vase to represent grief.

It filled most of the space, leaving little room for anything else. Ryan explained that lately, even small things felt harder because grief was taking up so much of her heart.

She wanted her students to know that if she seemed tired or less patient, it wasn’t their fault—she was just doing her best to carry a heavy load.

That visual lesson became one of the most meaningful moments in her classroom, transforming a personal struggle into a shared experience of emotional education.

How to explain grief to kids through honest conversations

Ryan’s openness changed the atmosphere in her classroom. “Discussing grief with my students changed something in our classroom.

So many kids opened up about their own losses,” she said. Some shared stories about family members who had passed away. In contrast, others spoke about pets or loved ones they missed but had never mentioned before.

The discussion helped her students realize that grief is a natural part of life, not something to be hidden.

They found comfort in knowing others understood their feelings. Ryan said the moment reminded her that kids, just like adults, need space to process emotions.

She emphasized that emotional education is not about perfection—it’s about presence.

“They don’t need us to be perfect, they just need us to give them space to feel and understand that feelings are welcome. We all learned that grief isn’t something to hide. It’s something we can learn to hold onto together,” she shared.

Her vulnerability became a life lesson that her students will never forget: it’s okay to feel sad, to miss someone, and to talk about it openly.

Expert tips on how to explain grief to kids

For parents and teachers seeking ways to help children understand grief, experts agree that honesty, empathy, and simple language are essential.

1. Name the Feelings Clearly

Grief coach, educator and author of “Chapters of a Resilient Heart“, Angie Hanson said children benefit from naming what they feel rather than keeping it bottled up. “This helps kids name and normalize their own emotions. Grief becomes less scary when it’s spoken about openly.” She encourages adults to model this by saying words like “sad,” “angry,” or “confused,” helping kids recognize their emotions as normal.

2. Use Simple and Honest Language

Certified Child Life Specialist and author of “The ABCs of Grief,” Jessica Correnti warns against using vague phrases that can confuse young minds. “It is commonplace to use words like ‘passed away’ or ‘lost’ when talking about death, but these words can be confusing and add to misconceptions and anxiety for young children,” she said. She suggests using direct words like “died” or “death,” as children understand better when adults speak with clarity and care.

3. Create Rituals That Help Express Grief

Experts also recommend giving children creative outlets to express their emotions. Simple acts, such as writing notes, drawing pictures, or keeping small mementos, can help them process grief. These actions show that love doesn’t end when someone dies—it changes form and remains part of our hearts.

4. Encourage Adults to Care for Themselves Too

Childhood bereavement expert Dr. Micki Bruns reminds caregivers to tend to their own emotional well-being. “It is important for adults to have trusted spaces and people to confide in about their grief reactions so they can be present and available for their child(ren),” she said. When adults model healthy ways of coping, children learn that grief can be managed with love and support.

5. Keep Grief in the Conversation

Parents can help kids by keeping their loved one’s memory alive through stories or small moments of remembrance. Saying something like, “I wonder what Grandpa would think of this,” helps children see that grief isn’t about forgetting—it’s about remembering with love. This ongoing connection makes the grieving process gentler and keeps love present in daily life.

The power of vulnerability in emotional education

Ryan’s story shows how sharing emotions can transform pain into understanding.

By teaching her students about grief through honesty and compassion, she created a safe space for them to talk about what hurts and what heals.

Her lesson proved that emotional education doesn’t just happen in books or lectures—it grows through real-life moments of courage and kindness.

It taught both children and adults a lasting life lesson: that grief, when faced together, becomes lighter and less frightening.

Through her heart and her words, Ryan reminded everyone that it’s okay to feel, to cry, and to keep going.

Her classroom became more than a place of learning—it became a space of healing, where understanding and love made even the heaviest emotions easier to carry.

Watch Ryan’s heartwarming Instagram video to see how to explain grief to kids through love, honesty, and simple emotional lessons that truly touch the heart.

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