Are you in a controlling relationship? Here are the common signs to watch out for

Knowing if you’re in a relationship with a controlling person is not always easy. While some are obvious, others use sneaky methods to control you.

It might start in the early stages of your relationship with your partner, wanting all your time and knowing everything about your life.

This feels nice initially but becomes overwhelming over time.

You might find yourself yearning for the freedom and privacy you once had, feeling like you have to plan every move around your partner.

If this sounds familiar, you might be in a controlling relationship. Control is harmful and should not be tolerated, according to PsychCentral.

Over 43 million women and 38 million men have experienced psychological aggression from their partners, including control, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Trusted Source.

Knowing the signs of a controlling partner is vital for your safety and well-being.

Signs that you are in a relationship with a controlling person

Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, said that controlling behavior is often caused by insecurity.

Durvasula has appeared on “Red Table Talk” with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith and on Vogue’s YouTube channel with Kendall Jenner.

She explained that a person who feels insecure may control others to assert dominance, Newsweek noted.

This behavior can be linked with specific personality types, such as narcissism or psychopathy.

These are 8 common signs that you are dating or in a relationship with a controlling person, as listed by Durvasula:

1. Texting or calling excessively and becoming angry if you don’t respond quickly.
2. Continuously asking about your location.
3. Dictating how you should dress or present yourself.
4. Insisting on attending all your events, even time with friends.
5. Insisting on driving you despite other arrangements.
6. Dropping by unannounced at work or school.
7. Being overly curious about your social media and distrustful without reason.
8. Offering to buy you items like a phone or car to track your movements or online activity.

What should you do if your partner shows signs of a controlling person?

Relationships can be complex because people are unique and want different things. While fairness isn’t always possible, balanced power leads to happier relationships.

Controlling behavior can cause problems and even violence. If you’re in danger, prioritize your safety and seek help, such as contacting the Domestic Violence Hotline.

Every situation varies, but acting if you notice your partner being controlling is important.

Here are some ideas for dealing with it:

Tell them what you feel about their controlling behavior

Openly discussing challenges in your relationship is a positive step. Your partner may not be aware of their controlling behavior or its impact on you.

Sharing your feelings can help them understand and make changes. Use “I statements” and specific examples when talking. Stay calm and focus on finding solutions together rather than assigning blame.

Set boundaries

Boundaries are like personal safety rules, especially useful if you suspect your partner might be controlling.

They help communicate what makes you uncomfortable. For example, you can ask for alone time or request them to stop criticizing your work.

Setting boundaries helps distinguish honest mistakes from purposeful disrespect.

If your partner repeatedly ignores your boundaries, it’s worth considering the relationship’s health.

Conversely, if they respect your boundaries, it’s a positive indicator they can manage their controlling tendencies.

Consult a therapist

Therapy can assist if you often find yourself in relationships with controlling individuals or are currently with someone displaying such behavior.

Remember, it’s not your fault, but therapy can equip you with skills to navigate these situations better or prevent them in the future.

Your therapist may begin by understanding the reasons behind your partner’s actions.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) in a 2017 study was shown to enhance self-esteem.

Additionally, therapy may boost confidence, communication, and boundary-setting and help recognize red flags in new relationships.

Watch Ramani Durvasula talks about the difference between control and love:

Disclaimer: This article is for informational or entertainment purposes only. Readers should consult professionals for personalized advice, and the author/publisher is not liable for actions taken based on the content.