The five most common regrets of people on their deathbeds and what a doctor has observed

An internal medicine doctor has shared the top 5 regrets of the dying, giving us a look into their last thoughts.

Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider says that accepting that life will end is important for a meaningful and satisfying life.

Ungerleider has cared for hospital patients for many years and told CNBC Make It that she has seen people regularly express regret in their last moments.

The 44-year-old host of the podcast “Before We Go” and founder of the End Well Foundation talks about how facing death forces people to live in the present.

“That is true for all of us. Throughout our lives, this present moment is all we have,” she said.

This is what Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider says are the top 5 regrets of the dying:

1. “I focused too much on the future and lost touch with the present.”

Always worrying about the future can make us miss the present and make us live in a bad way, according to Medium.

Getting stuck in this cycle is easy because the future is impossible to know. It’s normal to worry sometimes, especially when life is uncertain. Still, anxiety that lasts for a long time can be a big problem.

This constant worry can make it hard to go about our daily lives in a calm and useful way.

2. “I let fear control my decisions and didn’t take risks.”

It’s normal to be scared, but letting it guide your choices can make things more difficult and make you less happy with your life. If you let fear take over, it can stop you from pursuing your goals and dreams, Sage House Therapy says.

3. “I didn’t spend enough time with the people I love.”

When we miss out on time with friends, don’t study, or say hurtful things about others, we often feel bad about it. Feeling bad about not spending enough time with someone you love hurts much more and lasts longer. This kind of regret can last a lifetime and greatly affect our hearts, per Baylor Lariat.

4. “I worked too much and missed out on life.”

It’s like hitting the jackpot once you get your dream job. However, the more work there is, the less time there is for relationships. Being too busy takes away from important times with people you care about, and it also takes away the joy of life, Online Anxiety Therapy noted.

When you don’t have time for yourself, your family, or your friends, you often can’t sleep, and your mental and physical health starts to get worse. This is what happens when too much work takes over.

5. “I wish I’d been braver in the face of uncertainty or opportunity.”

There is a lot of uncertainty in the world today. The future is unclear, from global events to personal issues like money, health, and relationships. Still, people want to feel safe and in charge of their lives said HelpGuide.org.

Stress, anxiety, and a feeling of not being able to do anything can happen when fear and doubt take over. This emotional weight often makes people worry all the time, thinking about “what-ifs” and the worst things that could happen.

Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider’s advice in overcoming the top 5 regrets of the dying

Ungerleider gives clear advice on avoiding regrets in the future: recognize that your time is limited and unpredictable. She says it’s important to ask yourself big questions like what you want to do with your life and how you want to spend your time.

She tells young people, who may not have had major health problems yet, that this self-reflection is very important. You must do this if you want to live a long, healthy, and happy life.

“As a doctor, I’d recommend eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly, and avoiding things like smoking and high-risk activities. Reflecting on mortality should really be on that list,” she says, adding that it can give life more meaning and purpose regardless of age.

These ideas are similar to those of Siddhartha Mukherjee, a famous oncologist and Pulitzer Prize-winning author, and Bronnie Ware, an author who used to work in palliative care.

In a recent speech at the University of Pennsylvania, Mukherjee said that many people on their deathbeds feel bad that they didn’t show enough love and forgiveness to the people they care about. He stressed that putting off these feelings only delays what will happen anyway.

In the same way, Ware’s 2011 book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” talks about a common regret: people wish they dared to live as they are instead of trying to please others.

She wrote in her blog that many people find out too late that they can choose to be happy. She told people to break old habits and remember that life is a series of choices. She told them to make conscious, wise, and honest choices and to put happiness first.

Here is Bronnie Ware discussing the top 5 regrets of the dying: