6 ‘magic phrases’ shared by a child psychologist that make kids listen and build a special bond

How to get children to listen without yelling is the foundation of a strong parent‑child relationship, building trust and respect.

Yet many parents struggle with generational differences or a child’s natural tendency to test boundaries.

To help families overcome these challenges, child psychologist and therapist Reem Raouda — a mom — studied more than 200 parent-child relationships.

Her research revealed that the key to positive parenting is ensuring children feel safe, respected, and emotionally connected.

6 powerful phrases that build trust and stronger bonds

Raouda shared six powerful phrases that can transform communication, improve behavior, and deepen the parent-child bond.

“I hear you. I’m on your side.”

These words show children they are not alone. Raouda points out that approaching challenges with empathy helps strengthen the parent-child connection.

If a child struggles with homework, starting from a place of understanding — rather than frustration — helps them feel supported.

This approach deepens trust and builds a more resilient bond over time.

“I’m listening. What’s going on?”

Before children can listen, they need to feel heard.

Raouda recommends that parents pause to understand what is driving their child’s behavior.

This approach defuses conflict and repairs emotional breaks in the relationship.

When parents uncover what is behind the anger or frustration, it creates space for healing and rebuilding trust.

This open communication sets the tone for a stronger long-term bond.

“I’ve got you, no matter what

Parents can also teach children that love is not dependent on perfection.

Raouda writes, “Mistakes can trigger shame. But when kids hear this phrase, they learn that love isn’t conditional on performance or perfection.”

Consistent reassurance builds trust and connection, teaching children that they are still safe and loved even when they make mistakes.

Research shows that children with secure attachments better regulate emotions and develop healthier behavior patterns as they grow.

“You can feel this. I’m right here.”

Helping kids manage emotions is a crucial part of parenting. Instead of dismissing feelings, parents can remind children that feeling sad, angry, or frustrated is safe.

Staying physically present shows them they are not alone.

Kristen Weir from the American Psychological Association emphasizes early emotional connection by writing, “Caregivers can start talking about feelings when their children are still babies. Point out when book or movie characters feel sad, happy, angry, or worried.”

This simple form of communication helps kids name their feelings and builds healthy emotional behavior over time.

“I believe you”

Validation is one of the most powerful tools in parenting. Raouda explains, “Belief defuses shame and creates safety. When a child feels safe, they can actually hear you.”

For example, if a child spills juice and says it was an accident, responding with “I believe you” removes shame and builds trust.

This approach helps children feel understood, strengthening the connection between parent and child.

“Let’s figure this out together”

Children are more likely to cooperate when they feel part of the solution. Instead of simply giving orders, Raouda encourages parents to involve kids in problem-solving.

For instance, parents can make it a joint effort if a child refuses to clean their room.

This collaborative approach teaches teamwork, reduces resistance, and turns discipline into an opportunity to strengthen the parenting bond.

Giving kids choices to build cooperation

Children respond well to autonomy. Offering choices — such as deciding between doing a task now or in five minutes — allows them to feel in control.

As children’s yoga instructor Jaime Amor explains, “Kids tend to listen and cooperate when they get a choice.

It gives them control and autonomy, so they feel respected. When kids feel respect, they’ll work hard to reciprocate.”

This approach to communication turns parenting into a partnership and strengthens the overall bond within the family.

The Power of Communication in Parenting

Whether through validating words, teamwork, emotional support, or giving choices, the common thread is clear: communication matters.

Each phrase Raouda shares creates safety, builds trust, and encourages better behavior.

Parenting is not about control — it’s about connection.

When children feel heard and understood, they are more likely to cooperate, grow emotionally strong, and maintain a close bond with their parents.

Watch Jamie Amor’s video for practical ways to improve communication and help your kids listen.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a qualified expert or licensed professional with any questions or concerns you may have.