If you can control your feelings and understand how others feel, it shows you are emotionally intelligent.
Emotionally intelligent people are very aware of their emotions, even negative ones like frustration or sadness.
They can identify and understand their feelings; naming an emotion helps them manage it.
Because of this, they have high self-confidence and are realistic about themselves.
After more than 25 years of researching and writing books on emotional intelligence, Daniel Goleman emphasizes the importance of hoping for a positive outcome.
In his recent book “Optimal,” Goleman explains that emotional intelligence correlates with higher performance, engagement, job satisfaction, and maintaining a positive mood at work.
In practical terms, emotional intelligence encompasses four key areas:
- self-awareness
- self-management
- social awareness
- relationship management
These areas include twelve specific competencies that distinguish outstanding performers in team settings and leadership roles.
These competencies range from:
- emotional self-awareness
- emotional self-control
- adaptability
- achievement orientation
- positive outlook
- empathy
- organizational awareness
- Influence
- conflict management
- inspirational leadership
- coaching and mentoring
- teamwork
With this in mind, here are 12 statements that emotionally intelligent people frequently think or say, each demonstrating mastery of one of the 12 skills.
Relationship management:
1. ‘This could help you’
Coaching and mentoring are essential for nurturing future leaders and strengthening teams and organizations by providing feedback, support, and encouragement for personal growth and development.
2. ‘We have each other’s backs’
Feeling included and safe in our team fosters innovation and optimal performance without fear of criticism. Team members collaborate effectively, sharing responsibilities and achievements.
3. ‘We can work this out’
Handling conflict skillfully means addressing it directly, listening to all perspectives, and finding mutually beneficial solutions.
4. ‘That means so much because …’
Great leaders inspire others by passionately communicating a shared purpose that deeply resonates with everyone involved, motivating them to give their best efforts.
5. ‘What if you tried doing it this way?’
You can effectively persuade others by sharing your perspective and offering constructive suggestions rather than giving orders.
Social awareness:
6. ‘So that’s how things work around here’
Knowing who makes key decisions gives insights into your organization’s dynamics. This understanding often empowers you to influence outcomes effectively.
7. ‘I get it—and I care about you’
Three types of empathy—understanding thoughts, sensing feelings, and showing concern—build closeness and trust in relationships.
Self-awareness:
8. ‘I have these thoughts because …’
Self-awareness involves understanding the origins of your moods and their impact on your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s crucial for enhancing emotional self-control and overall self-management.
Self-management:
9. ‘This is what really matters’
Maintaining focus on your primary goal despite daily distractions is key to achieving it.
10. ‘I’m excited about this change.’
You embrace uncertainty, adapt to changes, and seek new approaches and learning opportunities.
11. ‘I can get better and so can you.’
You believe in the potential for growth through guidance and practice, fostering adaptability and seizing opportunities in the face of challenges and setbacks.
12. ‘I can handle this’
Mastering self-management, including emotional self-control, helps you navigate stressful situations effectively by preventing disruptive emotions from interfering with your actions. If you do become upset, you can swiftly regain your composure.
The more these thoughts occur to you, the more emotionally intelligent you are likely to be, and your performance will likely improve.
While you may not excel in every aspect of emotional intelligence, recognizing it as a set of skills and evaluating your strengths can reveal areas for growth and development opportunities.
Meanwhile, you can become more emotionally intelligent by identifying and understanding your emotions, naming them, and controlling them by pausing before acting or judging, says Psychology Today.
These skills help you stay focused on what truly matters in life.
Here’s Ramona Hacker talks about how to become more emotionally intelligent via TEDx Talk:
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