Marriage counselors reveal 11 warning signs that could lead your relationship to failure

Marriage counselors develop a keen eye for spotting potential issues in relationships. During therapy sessions, communication patterns and emotional responses offer valuable clues. Additionally, counselors might consider the couple’s history, how they met, and their individual goals for the relationship.

By identifying these red flags early on, counselors can empower couples to address challenges proactively and build a stronger foundation for their future together.

It’s important to notice negative relationship changes that could ruin your partnership.

Here are some clear signs from marriage counselors that a relationship might not last long.

1. Lack of trust and jealousy

Jealousy can be a powerful and hard-to-control emotion. However, it doesn’t have to ruin relationships if we learn healthy ways to manage them and communicate openly with our partners.

However, unmanaged jealousy can lead to trust issues.

Here are some warning signs:

• Bringing up the past: Past hurts can make you suspicious of your current partner, damaging the relationship. Trust issues from the past should be worked on individually.
• Control: Jealousy may lead to controlling behavior, such as restricting your partner’s friends or time. This makes the relationship toxic and abusive.
• Lack of Honesty: Regular lying, even small lies, erodes trust and can make both partners feel untrustworthy over time.

2. Disrespectful

Respect is essential for a relationship to thrive. It requires caring for and valuing each other. Actions like insults, put-downs, and eye-rolling indicate a lack of respect.

When constructive criticism turns into excessive criticism, it signals trouble.

Loving each other as you are and respecting each other’s needs is crucial for a relationship’s survival.

Without these elements, the relationship is at risk of ending.

3. No one admits their fault

Not taking responsibility can harm your relationship.

It’s natural for both partners to make mistakes and show their flaws when they spend a lot of time together.

Marriage counselors say that it is important for a couple to:

• Admit when you’re wrong without getting defensive
• Keep discussions open instead of shutting them down
• Avoid blaming each other
• Apologize when needed
• Respect each other’s feelings without dismissing them
• And avoid bringing up past issues repeatedly

If these actions persist, your relationship may face difficulties.

4. There’s no shared interest

Having shared activities is important in a relationship, even with different interests.

Minor differences in interests are acceptable, but major differences in beliefs, priorities, or political views can make sustaining the relationship challenging, though not impossible.

5. Unhealthy arguments

Arguments can be healthy in a relationship, but if handled poorly, they can lead to trouble.

Here’s why:

• Avoiding conflict: Ignoring disagreements doesn’t mean everything is okay; it can hide deeper issues and lead to ignoring problems instead of solving them.
• Repetitive arguments: Continuously arguing over the same issues without resolving them indicates difficulties in keeping promises or finding a middle ground, which isn’t good for the relationship.
• Nobody wants to lose: Arguments should focus on solving problems together, not on proving who’s right. It’s about tackling issues as a team, not as opponents.
• You’re taking it too personally: Bringing up past issues, using guilt trips, manipulation, or threats during arguments is harmful and doesn’t help resolve conflicts positively.

6. Lack or absence of affection

If passion fades completely in a relationship, it must be reignited to save it. Here are signs that affection has dwindled:

• No more laughter: Couples who enjoy each other’s humor and have fun together tend to laugh more, reminding them of what brought them together.
• No more compliments: Regular compliments can brighten your partner’s day and show you still find them attractive. It could be about their appearance, skills, or personality traits.
• No more physical touch: Apart from intimacy, simple acts like holding hands or hugs and kisses are crucial. Physical touch reassures and strengthens the bond between partners.

7. Holding grudges and resentment

Holding grudges and harboring resentment can harm your relationship.

It’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner about any issues that bother you, resolve them together, and then let them go.

Bringing up past grievances months later in arguments can lead to long-term damage.

Addressing feelings of unappreciation or dismissal promptly with your partner is important to prevent resentment from building up.

8. Negative impacts from outside relationships

The impact of other relationships on your romantic relationship can be significant.

Here’s why:

• Disliking your partner’s family and friends: While it’s normal not to get along with everyone in your partner’s circle, openly expressing dislike or hatred can lead to lasting issues. Maintaining decent relationships with those close to your partner is crucial for a healthy relationship.
• Regular contact with an ex: It’s acceptable for your partner to stay in touch with an ex, especially for co-parenting or friendship. However, if they prioritize their ex over you for everything, it’s a red flag.
• Over-involvement from family: Defending parents over your partner or allowing family to interfere excessively can strain your commitment to each other. Prioritizing your partner over external influences is essential.
• Isolation from external relationships: Healthy relationships involve maintaining friendships outside the romantic partnership. Cutting off others or neglecting these connections can lead to losing crucial support and happiness for both partners.

9. You criticize each other all the time

Constant criticism in a relationship can cause significant problems. Couples may find fault in everything, which leaves both partners feeling unappreciated and dissatisfied.

When communication breaks down and criticism turns hurtful, it damages self-esteem and creates an atmosphere of tension and caution. This pattern can seriously jeopardize the longevity of the relationship.

10. You feel disconnected from your relationship

Your feelings have shifted, and you live as if you’re single. You rarely think about or miss your partner, and your future plans don’t involve them.

There’s a lack of support from your partner, minimal deep conversations, and constant worry or anxiety about the relationship’s condition.

11. You fight over money

Money can often be a source of conflict for couples. Agreeing on earning, saving, and spending decisions together is crucial, per Reader’s Digest.

According to relationship expert Bonnie Winston, both partners should have a say in financial choices, whether planning vacations or buying gifts.

She advises that if one partner is more skilled with finances, they could handle budgeting while the other manages spending.

Experiencing these signs doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over forever.

Address these challenges together, communicate openly, seek solutions, and consider speaking with marriage counselors if necessary.

If ending the relationship feels right, it’s okay. It will be tough, but prioritize what’s best for both. Taking this step can lead to eventual improvement and healing.

Meanwhile, listen to Susan L. Adler, LCSW, as she talks about three steps to happier relationships below: