It is only normal for women to consult a doctor or an ob-gyne when they find out that they are mothers-to-be. Of course, expectant mothers only want the best for the growing baby inside their tummy. So they go turn to the people who can guarantee the health and safety of their baby.
Looking forward to finally welcome their baby in their arms, most mothers strictly follow the advice of their doctors. From drinking all the vitamins needed on time, to taking all of the medical tests they have to undergo- most mothers don’t want to take chances for the health of their child.
However, Ob-Gynes are not only concerned about the health of the growing baby, but they are also looking out for the well being of the expectant mother. Thus, during check-ups, they look for red flags that show if they need to reconsider the pregnancy.
One common test for expectant mothers is a screening test to diagnose if the baby has a genetic disorder such as Down Syndrome. If the test turns out to be positive, mothers-to-be are given the option to choose if they want to go on with the pregnancy or not. In the United States alone, 67% of mothers who found out that their baby has a Down Syndrom chose to terminate their pregnancy.
Courtney Baker is among the expectant mothers who took the diagnostic test, which turned out to be positive. According to Courtney, she felt pressured by the doctor who delivered her daughter’s prenatal diagnosis to terminate her pregnancy. Fortunately, her maternal instincts kicked in, and so she chose to give birth to a beautiful and equally capable bouncing baby girl.
Since the day that she had received the diagnosis of her baby and was discouraged to not go on with her pregnancy, Courtney has been meaning to write a letter addressed to her doctor. However, it actually took Courtney 15 months before she strung the words she’s been meaning to say.
Enclosed in her letter was her sadness and hope for the doctor who delivered Emersyn Faith’s diagnosis. The strong-willed and dedicated mother also shared the letter she wrote on the Parker Myles Facebook page where it was shared more than a thousand times.
Courtney’s full letter reads as:
A friend recently told me of when her prenatal specialist would see her child during her sonograms, he would comment, ‘He’s perfect.’ Once her son was born with Down syndrome, she visited that same doctor. He looked at her little boy and said, ‘I told you. He’s perfect.’
Her story tore me apart. While I was so grateful for my friend’s experience, it filled me with such sorrow because of what I should have had. I wish you would have been that doctor.
I came to you during the most difficult time in my life. I was terrified, anxious and in complete despair. I didn’t know the truth yet about my baby, and that’s what I desperately needed from you. But instead of support and encouragement, you suggested we terminate our child. I told you her name, and you asked us again if we understood how low our quality of life would be with a child with Down syndrome. You suggested we reconsider our decision to continue the pregnancy.
From that first visit, we dreaded our appointments. The most difficult time in my life was made nearly unbearable because you never told me the truth.
My child was perfect.
I’m not angry. I’m not bitter. I’m really just sad. I’m sad the tiny beating hearts you see every day don’t fill you with a perpetual awe. I’m sad the intricate details and the miracle of those sweet little fingers and toes, lungs and eyes and ears don’t always give you pause. I’m sad you were so very wrong to say a baby with Down syndrome would decrease our quality of life. And I’m heartbroken you might have said that to a mommy even today. But I’m mostly sad you’ll never have the privilege of knowing my daughter, Emersyn.
Because you see, Emersyn has not only added to our quality of life, she’s touched the hearts of thousands. She’s given us a purpose and a joy that is impossible to express. She’s given us bigger smiles, more laughter and sweeter kisses than we’ve ever known. She’s opened our eyes to the true beauty and pure love.
So my prayer is that no other mommy will have to go through what I did. My prayer is that you, too, will now see [the] true beauty and pure love with every sonogram. And my prayer is when you see that next baby with Down syndrome lovingly tucked in her mother’s womb, you will look at that mommy and see me then tell her the truth: ‘Your child is absolutely perfect.'”
Courtney is hoping that her message would convince her doctor and the rest of the people to look at people with Down Syndrome and other genetic ‘disorders’ beyond their diagnosis and misconceptions. Just like any other kids, children with Down Syndrom are equally beautiful, capable, and an imperfectly perfect bundle of joy!