Living with loved ones with dementia can be very painful, as a lifetime of memories begins to fade. But it is also stressful for the person with the illness. Bailey, who is the caregiver for Scott, her dad with dementia, tries to ease his anxiety in the best way possible.
Bailey uses her Tiktok account to show how she and her father live with the impacts of dementia.
The videos not only help to maintain the relationship between the two, but also help others deal with their own difficult circumstances.
In one viral Tiktok video, Bailey beautifully explains her relationship with Scott, who no longer recalls that he is Bailey’s father. The video is a painful reminder of what eventually happens when families deal with dementia, but it is also a lovely way of handling a difficult conversation.
In the video, captioned “Some days are easier than others.. I miss you dad, but I love you very much, Scott,” father and daughter discuss Scott’s problem with being called “Dad.”
He recalls though, that Bailey means something to him and that there is a special bond between them. He may not understand why or how, but he knows that he has feelings for the woman who takes care of him.
Bailey explained to Scott, “In my mind and in my heart, you’re my dad, and you will always be my dad.”
Seeing his discomfort at being called dad, Bailey offers to call him Scott instead. This makes him feel more at ease. “I love you too,” her dad says. “We’re family.”
Bailey and her sister Paige have become Scott’s primary caregivers. Scott suffers from Wernicke’s encephalopathy, which is caused by alcoholism.
Bailey uses Tiktok to document her family’s journey with Scott through dementia, which has been a great help to others with similar challenges.
In one video, Bailey shares that Scott forgets her on many days. To help her dad with his memory, Bailey shows him pictures of the family to show that she is his daughter.
After realizing this, Scott is concerned if he hurt Bailey’s feelings. She responds, however, “No you haven’t hurt my feelings. I’m just trying to give you some clarity.”
After Scott had an accident, Bailey and Paige became their dad’s full-time caregiver in February. Bailey welcomed him into her home and opened a GoFundMe page to help with the costs of her dad’s care.
His father’s bills have become extremely high, particularly since Scott was diagnosed with dementia and other medical conditions that have made him permanently disabled. Bailey and her sister will thus have to provide Scott with 24/7 care.
His apartment and everything in it were also destroyed, which he won’t be able to recover as Scott had no insurance.
“I love my dad, with his brain damage he will no longer be able to work. His short-term memory is dwindling, and I want him to be comfortable for the rest of his life,” Bailey said as she asked for contributions to her dad’s fundraiser.
Bailey and Scott’s videos on TikTok has been generating plenty of feedback. She often uses the advice she receives from people on the platform and has since created a tight knit online support system.
On Reddit, Joshua Frazier commented, “Man this is heartbreaking to watch. I’ve worked with patients with dementia or Alzheimer’s and it is very difficult work. I can’t imagine what the family is going through, but it’s clear to me that Scott is engulfed in love. What a beautiful video.”
Another user stated, “What a wonderful person. That even not knowing who he is, his first thought is compassion. Making sure that he’s not hurting her feelings, saying that she’s important to him.”
Bailey and Scott may be going through a heartbreaking experience, but the level of love and understanding between the two is making the journey less difficult. And as Bailey underscored in the video, if they understand and love each other, then nothing else really matters.
See Bailey and Scott’s video below:
@baileyrosek Some days are easier than others.. i miss you dad, but i love you very much, Scott. #dementiaawareness #wernickesencephalopathy #caregiversoftiktok #parentofmyparents ♬ original sound – Bailey
Please follow Bailey’s TikTok page HERE.