Ever wondered why your kids are always excited to know when they will visit their grannies? Ever thought why they’d bawl their eyes out whenever it is time to go home after spending time with grandpa? Ever asked yourself why they always bug you to live with their grandma instead? Well, a clinical psychologist and other experts say it’s because kids prefer their grandparents more than their parents!
According to Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed clinical psychologist in Denver, there are two reasons why kids love the company of their grandparents over their parents. First, because they spend most of their time together; and second, because grandparents have a better understanding of what the kids want and need.
“Children tend to bond with those they spend the most time with,” the clinical psychologist explained.
Nowadays, the father and the mother need to work together in order to secure the financial needs of the family. Since it is more practical and safer to leave the kids under the guidance of their grandparents, children are forming a strong bond and an unwavering attachment to their grandparents instead.
In addition, since the grandparents were once parents, they have a better understanding of reading a child’s social signals. And since they are more sensitive about the kids’ needs, then they know very well how to respond to it. According to Dr. Fisher, helps in developing a secure and strong attachment of kids to their grandparents.
Brian Taylor, a relationship coach and author of The Marriage You Never Dreamed of- Practical Steps to Extraordinary, Lasting Love, believes that kids love their grandparents more than anyone else because their grandparents spoil them. “Everyone likes to be valued and treated as important,” Brian said.
“Parents also value their children, of course, but the task of parenting includes instructions, regulations, teaching them how to do things, structure (it’s bedtime) and discipline,” Brian explained, citing how different parents and grandparents raise kids. “When grandparents teach and train, they tend to do it more gently and show an example. They are typically more patient as they do not have the pressures of time, including having to get to work.”
Grandparents do not even have to spend a lot of money to win the favor of their beloved grand kids. “Grandparents often give their grandchildren little gifts; they do not need to cost much, but [the gifts] say [to the] children [they] are valuable, wanted and important,” Taylor clarified. So keep in mind that at the end of the day, it all boils down to the message you are sending to the kids.
On the other hand, a recent study involving over 1,600 British mothers discovered that 52 percent of British kids preferred being with their grandma more than with their parents. Meanwhile, 1 out if 10 mothers admitted being insecure to how close their kids are to their grandparents.
In the British study, kids have three reasons why they love spending time with their grandparents more than with their own parents. First, their grandparents spoil them; second, most of the time, they get their own way with them; and lastly, because their grandmothers dish out food that are more delicious than to the food their mother prepared.
After all, there’s a reason why grandparents can spoil their grand kids without any hesitation, and that is because they are not their parents. Meaning to say, they can return your kids anytime they want when things are getting out of hand for them.
At the end of the day, not a clinical psychologist or any expert can dictate how you look at things, you are your kids’ parents and no one could ever replace you. Whether your kids love their grandparents over you or not does not matter. As long as you are showing your children how important they are to you, and you are spending your time with them wisely, then you’ve got nothing to worry about. They know that you love them very much… and that is more than enough.
True to the old adage, “Grandparents may hold your tiny hands for a little while, but they hold your heart forever,” the time kids spend with their grandparents, take up the biggest and the happiest memory of their childhood.
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