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Empaths and narcissists make a toxic partnership — here’s why they’re attracted to each other

Some people believe in the old saying of opposites attract each other. But Matthew Johnson, a psychologist, and author of Great Myths of Intimate Relationships, says that people are not magnets. According to his research, couples with polar traits rarely have long-lasting relationship.

Others may argue, but the findings of Matthew Johnson ring a lot of truth to the empaths and narcissists who are engaged in a relationship with each other.

According to other psychologists, the relationship shared between these two types of people are doomed from the start.

An empath is a person who is capable of empathizing with the feelings and situations of others.  They are those who are easily affected by the energy of other people.

They are those who feel and take the emotional burden of other people, which means that they are very sensitive about the emotions and feelings of others. Thus, an empath is also regarded as a healer.

A narcissist, on the other hand, is a person who is incapable of caring to anyone but themselves. They believe that the entire universe revolves around them. Narcissists love to be the center of attention and sure know how to manipulate the emotions of others.

With their traits being totally opposite from one another, a relationship shared between an empath and a narcissist is more likely to fail than the rest.

Because of their sensitivity to the feelings and situations of other people around them, an empath takes delight in helping other people to solve their problems.

While narcissists are only capable of looking after themselves. If no one would change, their relationship will be a matter of give, give, and give; and receive and receive and receive instead of a give and take. Making their relationship a toxic one.

The empath, having a compassionate and generous heart, will always see the good in everyone. Hence, they believe that deep inside a narcissist is a pure and good heart hiding underneath a bad exterior.

Thinking only about the hidden kindness of a narcissist, an empath is most likely to turn a blind eye on the dark side of a narcissist.

Since a narcissist only focuses on themselves, a narcissist does not care how much pain they cause to the empath who blindly believes in them.

Always thinking only about themselves, they will take an empath for granted and won’t be thankful for all the good things an empath does for them.

Sooner or later, the empath will realize that they are consuming themselves to light a narcissist. A narcissist who wouldn’t even bother sharing the lit fire with them.

Through the course of their relationship, a narcissist is noted of taking in full control of the relationship.

The narcissist would soon ask questions like, ‘you do love me, don’t you?‘ Challenging the empath to give in to their request to prove how much they love them.

And when an empath tries to turn down the favors asked by the narcissist they are in a relationship way, narcissists would tend to guilt-trip an empath just so a narcissist would get what they want.

Once an empath’s mind is filled with self-doubt, the narcissist would always point all of the negative things happening in their life to the empath. Until the empath believes that everything is because of their fault.

Another reason why an empath and a narcissist’s relationship is doomed from the start, is because of the fact that narcissists simply do not care about them. This means that, when an empath comes face to face with life’s greatest adversity, a narcissist wouldn’t be around to offer a shoulder to lean on.

The saddening part about this relationship, is the fact that because of the selfishness and non-accountability of a narcissist, an empath may slowly turn into a narcissist too. 

With a narcissist being too selfish and self-absorbed, and an empath whose emotional needs aren’t being met, their relationship has no more direction.

Ultimately, when an empath and a narcissist’s relationship fail, those who love an empath pray every night for the empath not to be a victim of a narcissist again!

Do you know someone who is in a relationship with a person who is totally different from them? Did you know an empath and a narcissist whose relationship withstood time? If yes, then feel free to share what you know about them on the comment section below! We surely want to hear your thoughts!

(Note: This article is for informational and entertainment purposes only and not to be treated as a professional opinion, recommendation or diagnosis.)

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Tuesday 28th of November 2023

I was married to one for 58 years. He had some good and I guess that was what I loved about him. I loved him so much, but after 5 separations I finally had to divorce him. I chose survival. I couldn't go on pretending that thing would get better, they only got worse. I lived for him and my kids, but for once I put myself first and I left. He did everything in his power to get me to come back again, even ending up in the hospital. It didn't work this time, I had reached my limit. I've been on my own for the past 10 years, and enjoying my life again.

Jill Miles

Tuesday 28th of November 2023

I've been married to my narcissist for almost 20 years. I've curved and turned my feelings upside down for many of those years in order to simply survive the time. I know that my husband has an empathetic bone somewhere in his body because there are times when he feels compassionate for those who struggle. I think it's when they know that you are staying in the situation that they don't feel the need to change how they react with you. The time old tale of "hurt the ones you love the most".

Susan L Pack

Tuesday 28th of November 2023

...I am an empath and I am only drawn to narcissists.....the 'good' parts of the relationship are incredibly good ....I have learned to live with the bad parts...I call it my karma ...and believe I was a horrible person in my past life and I have to attone for it ....I have learned to endure the hurt part ...I don't get sad or depressed ...I just get disappointed....and I hate when it is over....( but only for a little while )...sometimes I think I am just into self-mutilation...or maybe just think this is my Dad actually summed up my life when I was a very little girl...he said to me " Susan are always trying to make a silk purse out of a sows ear, and all you end up with is a one-eared sow "


Sunday 1st of October 2023

This is spot on for me - 22 years, and he had cheated on me with at least 5 women. I felt so foolish and stupid not knowing until 1 contacted me. Fast forward 10 years after divorce……. I now realize it was him and not me. Not one stitch of emotion in that man to do the things he did to all of us! I’m better off and finding inner peace without him 🙏

Tuesday 28th of November 2023

@Jo, Sounds pretty similar to my 24 year marriage.

Stephanie Parente

Saturday 30th of September 2023

I believe I am a an empath my husband turned into a narcissist over the years. I realized this when I caught him in a 10 year secret relationship with a friend. Never thought about it until then. Never realized I was an empath u til I read your article. Now I am turning into some sort of narcissist because I feel bad for no one. So many people have done me wrong I just want to be alone & away from them. People are phony & dishonest 2 things I am not. I never want to be the center of attention and do not need anyone. I wish only to interact with my children & their families.

Alice Eisner

Tuesday 28th of November 2023

@Stephanie Parente, I am the same

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