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Daughter roasts Dad ‘who couldn’t stay married but keeps trying’ in unique and hilarious but loving obituary

When Kenneth “Kenne” Pluhar Jr. died at age 62, his daughter Halliea Milner did not hold back. The first line on her father’s obituary set the tone for what would be a testimony to the funny and loving relationship their father had with the whole family. It took her 45 minutes to write the hilarious obituary that has left readers in stitches.

Milner began the unique obituary by stating that “Kenne died in ICU at St Anthony’s after losing a battle with sepsis – at the age of 62, after 50 years of crap-starting with everyone and everything he could find to fight in Alton, IL, this hard as nails, redneck, SOB finally found something meaner and more stubborn than himself.”

Milner explained that her father could be stern with other people, but he was very caring. “We were great friends,” she shared. Milner actually tried to find a writer but ultimately decided that she would write the obituary herself and let it all out.

She covered a lot of her father’s personal details, such as his interests and even his relationship history. She wrote, “Like any good card-carrying, ray ban wearing, camo coverall lovin’ redneck, Kenne had three true loves: hunting, fishing, and drinking.”

Milner added, “He couldn’t stay married, but that didn’t keep him from trying. Again. And again. He had a total of four legal marriages (and divorces) and one common law marriage under his belt – that we know of.”

Milner was not afraid to poke fun at herself, as she wrote in the obituary: “His first marriage, to Tara (Gomez) Berry, produced his one and only child (again, that we know of), Halliea Milner, of whom he was extremely proud, mostly because she is almost as big of a pain in the ass as he was. And she kept the pain-in-the-ass line going by giving him his only grandchild.”

The rest of the family was not safe as well, as it stated that Pluhar always called his late mother “his mommy” while his father taught him “the best ways to be emotionally unavailable and yet overly sensitive.”

Milner shared that, “He is also survived by a plethora of nieces and nephews that he terrorized and traumatized in countless and original manners – truly, it was survivorship when it came to Uncle Kenne.”

Regarding her father’s work, Milner wrote that Pluhar “had a green thumb, was outdoorsy and was a skilled carpenter. He was good at just about anything he tried to be good at and was wicked smart – but that didn’t stop him from trying his best to do absolutely nothing except drink, smoke, and listen to music.”

She then invited family friends to the celebration of her father’s life, stating that “there will be food & beer that you don’t have to pay for (Kenne’s favorite) at 6:00 and people will start talking crap about Kenne and his life around 7. Although there will be music and mayhem, don’t plan to stay too long; we are going to kick you out at 10pm.”

She hilariously ended by telling mourners to save their money and refrain from buying flowers. Instead, she wrote, “Take a trip to the Dollar Store in Kenne’s honor instead.”

The full obituary was posted in Milner’s Facebook and the Alton Telegraph and generated a lot of attention. “The majority of the people understood that it came from a real place of love,” said Milner.

She shared that she grew closer to her dad as an adult and came back to the St. Louis area to spend time at the hospital with him.

She added, “He was a magnetic person. I loved him dearly. My world is not the same without him.”

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